Month: May 2024

Step Five: The Three Aspects of ‘Admitted’

When I was working on my Fourth Step, I already had an eye on the next phase of my spiritual development: Step Five.

In fact, like some other recovering alcoholics I know, I completed my Fourth Step under the pressure of an upcoming date to complete the Fifth Step. Deadlines can help a procrastinator!

Looking back, I see that I experienced three aspects of the word, “admitted,” when I worked on my Fifth Step.

The first aspect mentioned in the step is “Admitted to God.” This probably was the easiest aspect of the three for me, because my religious training had me convinced that God already knew everything I had ever done or thought. I was convinced that there was no hiding from God!

The second aspect is to admit “to ourselves.” It took me more than 2 years of working the A.A. Program before I felt that I was being really honest with myself about my “personal inventory”—the list of my positive AND detrimental actions, beliefs and abilities.

The final aspect of admitted was “to another human being.” In my case, that was my sponsor. The difference with this aspect was that I wasn’t simply thinking my own thoughts.

My sponsor asked me questions that made me rethink some of what I had written. He brought up points that I had either forgotten or wanted to avoid. He helped me to admit to myself that I couldn’t do Step Five on my own—no one can. 

Tradition Five: Does It Impact ‘Selfish Programs’?

I recently was talking with a man I sponsor, when he said he was considering not doing something difficult and uncomfortable because “this is a selfish program.”

I’ve often had my hackles rise when someone in A.A. says that phrase, because of times when people have said it to excuse themselves from taking personal responsibility for their actions and/or the consequences of their actions. Is A.A. truly a “selfish program” according to Tradition Five?

As Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions states in the chapter on Tradition Five, “It is the great paradox of A.A. that we know we can seldom keep the precious gift of sobriety unless we give it away.”

Even the Promises state that before we are halfway through the Steps, “We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away.”

Bill W. wrote, “The word ‘selfish’ ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits.

“If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost [and we] are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol.

“Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first—a right and necessary kind of self-concern.”

Tradition Five tells us to focus our groups on carrying the A.A. message to the alcoholic who still suffers. But we always have to maintain our sobriety and spiritual condition to have something to pass along.—